So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So vagazzling was a success
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
