is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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