So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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