Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
she pinky promised me she was 18
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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