Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
