That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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