Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
