Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
