I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
