You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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