Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
