what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
i out mim tonsoeep
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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