shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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