Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
