We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
