she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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