ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
