I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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