the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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