Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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