Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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