I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
im on a boat
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