He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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