And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
