Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
