Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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