Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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