Someone shit on the floor
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
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