I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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