i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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