he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The air taste purple.
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