Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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