you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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