You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
