dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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