Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
