It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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