the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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