umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
