i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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