I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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