I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
