I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
