great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
