So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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