He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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