I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
