I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
