I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
