he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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