I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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