I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
