he wants to bone in the snuggie
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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