Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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