I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
is wine microwaveable?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
