Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
