I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
