I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
BRING THE BAGELS
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
