Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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