I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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