That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
