at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
