that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened