Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We have started to decorate penises.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.