My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
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We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?