Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
