his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
